Defeating Our Constant Need to Be Right in a Relationship

Wanting to be right doesn’t guarantee us our happiness. In fact, it only serves to stroke our egos and divide us from each other.

After seven months of living with my partner in another country, we have had every fight imaginable. While we have evolved from the pettiness and passive-aggressiveness that our fights usually descend to, there is just one in particular that we can’t seem to shake off.

It was a sunny Saturday morning when out of nowhere, my partner exclaimed that I shouldn’t have left the jelly out of the fridge. I was confused. What did I do wrong?

He further explained to me that I could have ruined it that way. In fact, he was so sure that it was already ruined. But surely, jellies have a longer shelf-life, right?

I was so annoyed that I went out of my way and showed him he was wrong. I googled every possible article and read it to him condescendingly.

Looking back, we should have approached that fight better. But we were only so determined to win against the other.

Now, think about how you’ve been fighting for a second. Have you ever wondered how you got there in the first place? Weren’t you just annoyed a second ago because he left his dirty dishes in the sink again? All of a sudden, you’re butting heads with each other about who’s right and who’s wrong.

Truth be told, the only way to feel right is when we make the other person feel wrong. And that’s the problem, isn’t it? They always remind us that it is human nature to want to be right. This fixation is driven by our ego and its highly competitive nature.

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