It happened one Diwali night

It was a smoggy winter evening in New Delhi, 26 years ago. The Festival of Lights was upon us. The early enthusiastic worms, many of them my friends, were already at work, bursting their cracker collections. I was 16 years old, without a care in the world and would join my friends soon. The next few hours were spent in a stupor of smoke, light and sound, with friends. I wasn’t a big fan of fireworks, but my friends were and they made sure that I participated with them.

My parents were at home, Anu with her friends. Dad was not in the best of health. He had a bout of asthma attack a couple of days ago and was taking rest at home. Being an asthmatic, Diwali was not the best of times for him.

My fathers best friend, Ananthu uncle, and his wife had come home earlier that evening. Anu and I came home after bursting crackers, had dinner together and slept. It was around 10pm. Little did we know that our life would change completely.

I slept in a separate room. My mom woke me up at about 11 pm, telling me that we need to take dad to the doc since he wasn’t feeling well.

I woke up with a start. We did not wake Anu up. We had got a phone connection just the previous summer. Mom called Joshi uncle, who stayed in an adjoining block and he promised to bring his car around.

I saw my dad standing in front of the mirror, he did not look well. He could sense that something was wrong with him.

The situation deteriorated in front of my eyes. I could see tears in his eyes. His final words were that his time was up and he collapsed. I was standing right behind him but I couldn’t do a thing. I couldn’t hold him up. I slowly lowered him to a sitting position, unconscious. Mom was not panicking, yet.

His eyes were closed but he was still breathing. Joshi uncle entered the house. We apprised him about the situation and started carrying dad to the car. It was not easy, though we were on the ground floor. A few friends of mine who were outside, helped us put dad in the car, on the back seat. I got in there as well and we started heading to the Ram Manohar Lohia hospital, which was about 5–6 km from our house. Mom was still strong, emotionally.

I remember the journey being uneventful. My dad was still unconscious, but I could notice something strange about the way he was breathing. I don’t think any of us realized the gravity of the situation yet.

We reached the hospital. My dad was taken inside on a stretcher. Since it was a Diwali night, the hospital was filled with burn victims. The doctor started attending to my dad. My mom called Ananthu uncle in the meantime and asked him to come over to the hospital. For the first time in my life, I saw a doc trying to use electrical shocks to revive my dads apparently stopped heart, but it was in vain. The heart had stopped and nothing else could be done to revive it. The doctor came out and gave us the news : my father had stopped breathing and was no more.

That’s when it hit us, especially my mom. She was, all the while, assuming this was an asthma attack and it would be a matter of time before he would be revived. She took it on the chin. I took it on the chin. I think this was more because of the shock rather than realization. Ananthu uncle sat down against a wall, his head in his hands. While we were still digesting the news, we heard a couple shrieking loudly, their 8 year old son was just pronounced dead by the same doctor, yet another burns victim, on the festival of lights.

The attendant asked me to help move my fathers body. They needed space for the burns victims that were continually pouring in. We wheeled the body into a dark room and moved the body into one of the available slabs. The attendant gently asked me not to look around, but I did. It was a temporary morgue, filled with bodies. I shuddered, but wasn’t afraid and stepped out of the room to my reality.

I was 16 years old and fatherless. Anu was sleeping at home, unaware of any of this. Mom was standing outside in a daze. Life would never be the same, for any of us, again. The Festival of Lights had turned into a festival of darkness.

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