My brush with Candace Owens

On hearing things from different sides

Welcome to my ramblings; a “sort of ”discussion between me and me. Hopefully, my thoughts will provoke something in you enough to join the madness.

I don’t know what to think. And maybe that’s good.

I wasn’t born into the internet age, nor was I taught religiously. And when I had answers, I looked up to the adults in my close circle. I didn’t have google or god to rely on but I did have a relationship with life; this ultimate presence which was a combination of luck, faith, irony, and belief. It was personal and private. I did, however, grow up to understand that there were hardcore religious people, cults and addicts of all sorts who tore themselves to prove and enforce on their relationship with this imminent source of power. Some of them moved on, some of them broke down.

What I mean here by addiction is not a material substance, it’s a mentality. I should add that I don’t believe there is nothing that controls and manipulates the lives that cannot be taken under control. It’s not the drugs, it’s us who manipulate, it’s not guns, it’s us who abuse.

However, if we get back to reality, we’re all humans. And as a fellow human being, you know that phrase all too well. I did not have internet till I was 12, and I didn’t have google maps till I was 19. I know how to live without them, I just don’t want to. And here’s the good part, I learn so much through them. True, I get into weird complexes about myself, my looks, my “place” in society occasionally, and that’s just one of the side effects of being able to reach so far, so fast. I’m also aware that through this screen, I’m not reaching into a utopian plane of equality and objectivity. All I get is mainstream media, and I am at a point where my biggest followers, that is ad analytics, cannot suggest me anything new. It’s like the veil is falling apart.

But once in a while, I get inspired. Like today, I was listening to Russel Brand’s podcast, the episode with Candace Owens. At first, I thought, wow, what a nutjob. And smart, too. She’s been going on about so many things but I wasn’t able to listen to her because of her distracting tone of voice and fast-paced speech. She sounded really aggressive. And then, at one point, she caught my attention. She was saying how the #metoo movement is cloaked as feminism, and Trump’s government led the black unemployment to its lowest point to date in the U.S. I was shocked at first, then appalled, and inspired. This is amazing, I thought. I’ve never heard a black woman disagree about so many things a black and women person in the States is “supposed to” be fighting for. And that’s one of the many times I’ve questioned the “unity” of a race on all points related, just because their skins are shades of the same color.

I was scared for a second, and I’m neither American nor black. I’m not a political person in my daily life, I’m not religious. I don’t believe strictly in anything that’s been debated on social media lately. I’m a mere observer, so impressed, sometimes angered, by the human mind and condition.

The point is, I think she’s too aggressive and certain about many things which are, both from statistical and biological standpoints, impossible to be right at completely. Some ideas of hers are too open-ended for me. For example, she says that teaching of any religion should be brought back into the culture for the structure of it, yet she doesn’t have broad and deep enough information in the area of theology or the philosophy of it, for that matter. She also says that government has gotten “big” through destroying these structures, like the “god” in a more general sense, so that it can give the answers when people ask for them. This part makes sense for me. I think what she’s trying to say is that the cultural narratives such as inherited stories, fables, cultural remnants, religious texts, they all are a part of the moral framework humans need in order to live in harmony, or in a less chaotic world at least. And I agree, people need goals, ideals, a reason to be “good” in a Socratic sense. Actually, I think she is more deeply in support of the whole idea of “the good life” than me.

When I think of how she talks and her past, it definitely makes more sense to me. She had a rather supportless life, by her family mostly, and economically. She had to move out of the house at 14 and was taken care of by her grandparents. After an incident that she doesn’t like to label as “racist” in high school, she quit and continued her education at home. Then got into college but quit after a year or so. She says that she’s smart and funny. She’s very confident about those qualities. She’s against “arbitrary authority” which suits my character as a teenager and college student. I sometimes still think I’m a bit too rebellious compared to my peers.

So it’s like an ocean with her. Some thoughts hit home like a tsunami, and some seem to have gone the opposite way, backing away to another shore.

It’s just interesting to see a smart person question and underline the strategies and manipulations that have become such an essential part of popular media that nobody knows who controls them.

But I feel that there are deep scars in her about her past, childhood, and family. She’s too strict about her thoughts and too conservative at times. And I think that those will be the edges she will sharpen in the future. Or otherwise, I can’t see any scenario where she doesn’t burn out. I can clearly see the serenity and optimism in Russell’s voice and actions, the confidence, and heaviness. He knows he doesn’t know everything and she knows that too, but he also knows that he won’t be able to control and change everything. Now that is something you learn by healing yourself first. And yes, for the time being, it’s great to feel part of a big cause, to be supported by others, and to feel you’re important. Yet, in the end, you realize that you were too just a human, and was bound to go through the same life all others had and will.

For what it’s worth, it’s great to hear from a black point of view that’s not conceptualized as “victim” or “privileged”, someone who actually sees the dangers of constructs such as “white guilt” and anti-male feminist campaigns.

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