Suicides Upset Me

I watched Glee. I enjoyed it. I laughed. I cried. I sang along. Much drama happened behind the scenes, I guess by what I’ve read, and then there’s what’s going on with the actors’ lives. Mark Salling committed suicide and quite a few people are fine with that because of what he was convicted of. He had a lot of child porn.

I feel sick every time I have to write those words. I am even sick right now because I can still read it as I type this out. I am super uncomfortable even mentioning it. It is disgusting what he had. I understand people not caring he died or being pleased with one less him in the world.

However, for me suicide creates an emotional response. My mind assumes what the person was thinking prior to going through with it and it bothers me a lot. I believe that with every suicide it’s a dose of guilt that greases the want to follow through. It takes dedication to do it and ironically if they (most, not all because some commit suicide they are doing so because of a sever illness) gave the same dedication to living they’d do better at life. I say that with the understanding as to why someone would want to leave this world. Suicide makes so much sense it doesn’t freak me out to say it, but it does freak me out that others know I think that way because they don’t quite grasp the reason why.

Had Mark Salling been shot by someone that knew he had a naked photo of their child I wouldn’t feel any of what I’m feeling right now for him. His suicide bothers me because he felt (I’m sure) guilt. Now some may say that he did it because he didn’t want to go to prison. Maybe, but I’m not sure that was a major reason aiding in his decision. If he were as sick as those that actually do stuff with kids, he wouldn’t have committed suicide, because those people have committed to a lifestyle that they agree with and have no shame over it. [I am stating that based on what I’ve read in the past. If I’m wrong, please tell me. I’m not up for Googling anything with the word pedophile in it. I can’t.]

Suicide is a combination of guilt and care. I think something bad happened to Salling as a child that he never spoke about that justified him collecting such photos because he wasn’t doing more with what he was thinking. It’s cringe inducing to think about, but I can’t see how someone would just choose to like those kinds of photos without a dark past. So, I assume he felt guilt for being caught, shame from friends and family finding out, and more guilt for realizing he was doing something that could lead him to do what was done to him. To save those he love the embarrassment of what he had done and to rectify what he had done (in his mind) he came up with suicide.

It’s important to know because if people are being encouraged to open up about what happens to them sexually that they didn’t want, and if something happened to Salling and opening up would’ve kept him from slow burning a gross desire, then we must be clear with children that they need to speak up if someone touches them in a bad way. In order to keep something from being perpetual (as child molestation is) then those that are going through it must know they have people that will be there for them.

Parents want to protect children from all kinds of bad things, but anything sexual that happens that is not wanted isn’t something a parent wants to hear about. It’s not because they don’t want to protect their child from bad people but because sex isn’t something parents talk with their children about. They allow the school to teach them or friends and they avoid the subject at all cost and this creates a void for anything to jump in to fill it. If parents do not teach their children what’s okay and what’s not okay then the child doesn’t know. This is why so many adults realize that they were molested only after the fact or the guilt that the molester placed on the child to keep quiet because the child didn’t have anyone to turn to because they didn’t trust that their parents (that love them) would either understand or believe them.

If parents talk to their children about anything, children will be better for it. The best person to teach a child about the world they’re in is their parents. No one else can do it better. There are people that will attempt but none are as awesome for the job as those that created the child.

Therefore, if people would truly listen to what their loved ones are going through many problems that plague others will not only get solved but be healed. Be a good listener and help make people’s lives better. Thank you.

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